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A person who is new to a particular media space. Somewhere on the internet, as it is usually used. Though sometimes technology is included. Since this wiki is about Portland topics, this page is in fact about a Portland Newbie.


For lack of a better word, it is the time duration of years by which one is still considered a Newbie. Though the general rule of thumb to locals is around never, there is some agreement amongst Portland Metro area immigrants that it is about 5 years. Which is about long enough to learn the local social patterns, avoid any actionable taboos and hide their own recent origin.

Other areas just out of the metro area is shorter, and depends on other physical traits. Family with kids in elementary school for example is generally accepted quickly in the NW -- West of Linnton Park, and South of Washington Park.

Tips for fitting in

Part of fitting in is challenge of learning what and how to behave and appear to everyone else. Those are a complex mix of fashion stereo-typing, social etiquette and taboo avoidance.

Specialized Interests

Though often comically regarded as high-maintenance and/or needy. The truth about Portlanders, is that they live a highly specialized existence. This could present itself in their food and alcohol interests, but also wax into political views. Though Portlanders tend to voicing these preferences, it is by no means a plea for help. They simply have a set of views, and feel no issue with voice and/or demanding them.

Tip to newbie: When a Portlander voices a preference in an effort to alter a situation, simply wait and comply if it involves a response from you. In no way argue or criticize. The Portlander's preference is considered a basic human right, and censorship will cause retaliation.

Second Degree Confrontation

Generally when there is a social conflict between two people it is uncommon to be resolved in person. The bulk of interpersonal problems occur within one degree of separation, that is, with someone else who knows both people. Though in other parts of the U.S. this is thought of as a passive aggressive tactic in an effort to manipulate those thought to be social enemies. The truth is much more complex. Though there is always a low-level effort to undermine opponents, there is also a need to check-in with others to verify the conflict to be genuine. Conflicts and disagreements are voiced with others to check the legitimacy of the complaint. Tip to newbie: Make effort to appear as if you're listening. Nod, and then forget you heard it. \Try to avoid responding since whatever you will say will be mentioned later by who ever heard it.

Slow Restaurant Service

This is mentioned also in the taboo section. Due to a number of reasons, table service has been criticized as being slow. This is often compared to by the occasional tourist and newbie. It is possible that this is compared to other urban areas such as Manhattan, and San Francisco. Most of the time, it is because the server is given to many tables to serve quickly which translates to slower service.

The tip to the newbie would be to relax and enjoy the privacy until the server is able visit. For God's sake don't get up from the table and seek the server out or attempt to pay at the cashier.

Small World

A common phrase a newbie might hear on occasion which on the surface means that everyone knows everyone, and therefore has a powerful complex social system. It should also be mentioned that there is a second part to the phrase that is unspoken. The full phrase being -- It's a small world, and you're not a part of it. It is usually uttered by a local when the newbie is discovered in their presence.

In case the goal is to attempt deception in an effort to hide ones newbie-status, the best response to this is to agree enthusiastically and proceed to cite a local's name as quickly as possible.