Template:News: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 08:10, 22 November 2010

News

Monday | November 22, 2010

Happy Women Love To Read
Mercy Corps' "M POWER Project" department suggests you join Mercy Corps and Powell's Books to help teach women to read, and how NOT to shop at Amazon dot com. You can "be the change" you always wanted to be and help teach hundreds of Indian women to read and write, boosting their self-esteem and empowering them to open bank accounts, start small businesses, participate fully in their households and communities, and NOT shop online. Powell's will throw in a free Powell's Books tote bag if you jump through all the necessary hoops and meet all their other requirements.

Go to story: M Power Project: Empower Women In India Through Literacy

Sunday | November 21, 2010

Fu*k Wall Street

"Eager Beaver" Police State Does Its Part To Stick It To The Man
A Portland hedge fund analyst exposed his virile manliness by standing up to "two fresh faced eager beavers from the FBI" and refusing to "wear a wire and therefore ensnare (his clients) in (the 'eager beavers') devious web." (It's also manly to mix metaphors like "beavers" with "devious web" or "spiders" with "devious dam.") Afterward the hedge fund inside trading analyst cursed the Portland Timbers for failing to drive the FBI's "eager beavers" out of Portland as successfully as they banished the Portland Beavers from Stumptown.

Go to story: U.S. in Vast Insider Trading Probe

Saturday | November 20, 2010

Concern Mounts Over Portland's Public Displays Of Wanton Gluttony
Labeled "America's New Food Eden," meat-centric restaurants like the Beast, Country Cat, People's Pig and other "lardcore" eateries serve non-kosher food that is "so good it will literally make you sick." In the midst of all this pork barrel fetishizing, has anyone stopped to think about the poor, starving waifs in Africa? Enquiring stomachs want to know.

Go to story: Why Portland Is America's New Food Eden

Friday | November 19, 2010

World Map of Wal-Mart: Watch out for collapsing civilizations.

Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. (NYSE: WMT) To Open New Store In Portland
The mega-retailer promises employment for 300 Portland-area serfs and countless sweatshop slaves across the globe. Watch out for falling wages.

Go to story: Walmart to open new store in Portland, creating 300 jobs

Thursday | November 18, 2010

The Best Little Streetcar In Texas
Fort Worth puts runaway Portland streetcar on display.

Go to story: Model streetcar goes on display in downtown Fort Worth

Wednesday | November 17, 2010

R.I.P. City
Q. Why is Portland, Oregon nicknamed Rip City?
A. Trail Blazers guard, Jim Barnett, ripped the net in 1970 causing the sports announcer to hyperventilate and coin the phrase "Rip City."
Go to story: Why is Portland Oregon nicknamed rip city?

Tuesday | November 16, 2010

Pouting PETAphiles Ponder "Proudbody Patdowns" @ PDX
The success of PETA's "proud body" campaign depends on ubiquitous distribution of TSA's full-body scanners at all major airports. Unfortunately, the scanners slated for Portland International Airport (PDX) have failed to materialize and "Portland is not on TSA's deployment list" for the remainder of the year. Can PETA's "proud body" campaign successfully exploit any furtive gropings and fondlings TSA's "handlers" inflict upon Portland's air travel victims?

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 == News ==
+=== Monday | November 22, 2010 ===
+[[File:Happy-women-love-to-read.jpg|thumb|Be the change [[Powell's Bookstore|Powell's]] wants you to be.]]
+'''Happy Women Love To Read'''<br />
+Mercy Corps' "[[M Power Project|M POWER Project]]" department suggests you join [[Mercy Corps]] and [[Powell's Bookstore|Powell's Books]] to help teach women to read, and how NOT to shop at Amazon dot com. You can "be the change" you always wanted to be and help teach hundreds of Indian women to read and write, boosting their self-esteem and empowering them to open bank accounts, start small businesses, participate fully in their households and communities, and NOT shop online. Powell's will throw in a free Powell's Books tote bag if you jump through all the necessary hoops and meet all their other requirements.<br />
+:''Go to story'': [http://www.mercycorps.org/projects/indialiteracy M Power Project: Empower Women In India Through Literacy]
+{{clear}}
 === Sunday | November 21, 2010 ===
 [[File:No-more-corporate-bullshit-fuk-wall-st.jpg|thumb|Fu*k Wall Street]]
@@ Line 44: / Line 51: @@
 *[http://www.katu.com/news/local/108007129.html Researchers sound alarm over radiation from body scanners]
 *[http://wewontfly.com/ WE WON'T FLY: Act Now. Travel with Dignity.]
-{{clear}}
-=== Monday | November 15, 2010 ===
-[[File:Springtime-hitler.jpg|thumb|'''Full Disclosure''': Not every bully who treads on the downtrodden is a <span class="plainlinks">[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springtime_for_Hitler dancing Nazi]</span>.]]
-'''America's "Moral Majority" Blame Poor Folks For Economic Blight Imposed By Wall Street'''<br />
-"Political conservatives (continue) to blame poor African-Americans and Hispanics for the very act of being poor even as 43.6 million Americans of all racial stripes, 12.3 percent of them white, are living in poverty and collectively struggling to survive the fallout of an economic downturn (characterized by) widespread layoffs, massive home foreclosures and loss of retirement savings and other assets."<br />
-:''Go to story'': [http://www.theskanner.com/article/2010/11/13/Conservatives-Blame-the-Poor-for-being-Poor Conservatives Blame the Poor for being Poor]
 {{clear}}
 [[Old news|(''Go to older news stories >>>'')]]