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Friday | January 14, 2011
Massive Solar Disk To Descend Upon Portlandians
"Take us to your sustainability leaders," is just one of the many demands made by the solar disk's otherworldly pilots. "Pay rents 20% above market rate" and "climb the stairs" and "shiver in wintertime; sweat in summertime" are a few of the others. Rumors that the solar disk invaders come armed with solar flare guns remain unconfirmed.
Thursday | January 13, 2011
Feds to Portland: time to start profiling based on religion or political views
After the attempted bomb plot in Pioneer Courthouse Square, it surely is time to call in the FBI to profile Portland religious and political minorities as terrorists. What's that? The FBI were the ones who entrapped Mohamed Mohamud into committing that attempted bomb plot in the first place? Who cares! Muslims and radicals bad!
- Go to story: Portland Town Hall Planned On Joint Terrorism Task Force
- Go to story: City Hall: Mayor Announces Location for Joint Terrorism Task Force Meeting
Wednesday | January 12, 2011
Greenlick To Bicycle Trailer Pullers: "Lose the kids."
State Rep. Mitch Greenlick (District 33, Northwest Portland/Forest Park) don't want you to pull no trailer full o' li'l tots with no bicycle. Maybe he reckons it's dangerous. Figures some car drivin' fool could run over the little ones, trailer 'n' all. Why don't somebody tell ol' Greenlick he oughta ban humans beings from drivin' them dang fool horseless carriages instead!?! That'll save a coupla lives, at least.
- Go to story: Oregon House bills would prohibit wearing headphones, carrying kids under six while biking - Updated
Tuesday | January 11, 2011
Filthy Lucre Update!
Last week, PortlandWikiNewsLeakers brought you a report about "a series of workshops about managing money" (Thursday | January 6, 2011 - "Now You Can Learn To Deal With Your Share Of The Root Of All Evil!"). Good news! Now you can learn about handling your filthy lucre from a public sector source: Multnomah County Library. Smart Saving is the library's new financial literacy program that "helps people develop the skills to plan a budget, pay off debt, save for retirement or college, invest, and make sound home buying decisions." The series begins Wednesday, January 12, 2011.[1]
- Go to story: Multnomah County Library's Smart Saving
Monday | January 10, 2011
The Banality Of The Bloody Ordinary
Bloody Ordinary is the "controversial examination of American injustice" through a reinterpretation of Harold Pinter's masterpiece, One for the Road. Directed by David Berkson (Readers Theatre Repertory), the story depicts a master interrogator and his torture victims. After the performance, political science professor Norm Diamond will moderate a "talk with" among the audience and the cast. "I wish I could say that this play's subject matter is dated, but unfortunately, it's not," says Berkson, who sees the production as a thought-provoking starting point, rather than an end. Bloody Ordinary opens at Blackfish Gallery (420 NW 9th Ave. | 503-224-2634 | www.blackfish.com) Fri., Jan. 14, 8 p.m. and Sat., Jan. 15, 8 p.m. Admission: $8. More info: www.readerstheatrerep.org.
- Go to website: www.readerstheatrerep.org
Sunday | January 9, 2011
Infant Babble
Are you a clueless parent when it comes to communicating with your infant? There was a time when human parents mysteriously just knew when their baby was hungry, thirsty, or not feeling well. Perhaps it was instinct, or maybe parents in the olden days just had fewer distractions and spent less time stuck inside their own minds. But none of that matters now because help has arrived. Tiny Talkers workshops promise to "help eliminate the guesswork parents face in trying to teach their kids how to sign." Hey, if Doctor Dolittle could "talk with the animals," perhaps there's hope that modern parents might learn to connect with their own child(ren).
Saturday | January 8, 2011
Motorists No Longer Drive On Columbia River's Surface
Automobile traffic is a constant menace. It's a source of relentless slaughter of pedestrians, bicyclists, wildlife and even other drivers. In order to acquire fuel supplies, infidels must meddle in faraway lands; evil doers respond by flying jetliners into buildings. But there's at least one thing we can all heave a sigh of relief over: motorists no longer drive across the surface of the Columbia River.
- Go to story: It just doesn’t snow like it used to
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