Driving in Portland: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 09:19, 25 July 2010

The Automobile Repository in Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona.

Get Outta Dodge!

Cars! Ugh! What a pain!

Burdened by endless highways to hell, virulent suburban and exurban sprawl, non-stop slaughter of humans and other living beings by moving vehicles, a huge portion of the Earth's crust covered in asphalt, never-ending resource wars, and oil gushers at the bottom of the ocean, sane Portlandians are eager to bid a less-than-fond "good riddance" to car culture. This attitude is in line with a growing recognition that our species is best served by taking our focus off feeding our addictions to fossil fuels and instead find ways to muddle through life without the constant injection of such poisonous substances.

Park It

Perhaps the most appropriate driving behavior in Portland involves driving away from the city and straight to the Automobile Repository in Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona.^[1] Exchange your auto for a bike and then pedal back to Portland. Arizonans may not harbor much empathy for sentient beings migrating to their state from "south of the border," but they'll welcome your hunk of metal, plastic, glass, rubber and petroleum products with open parking lots!

External Links

References

↑ The Automobile Repository In Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona

[1] The Automobile Repository In Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona

[1]

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-[[File:Park-it-here.jpg|thumb|The Automobile Repository In Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona]]
+[[File:Park-it-here.jpg|thumb|The Automobile Repository in Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona.]]
 == Get Outta Dodge! ==
 Cars! Ugh! What a pain!
-With highways to hell, suburban and exurban sprawl, non-stop slaughter of humans and other living beings by moving vehicles, so much of the Earth's crust covered in asphalt, never-ending resource wars, and oil gushers at the bottom of the ocean, many Portlandians are eager to bid a less than fond "good riddance" to car culture.
+Burdened by endless highways to hell, virulent suburban and exurban sprawl, non-stop slaughter of humans and other living beings by moving vehicles, a huge portion of the Earth's crust covered in asphalt, never-ending resource wars, and oil gushers at the bottom of the ocean, sane Portlandians are eager to bid a less-than-fond "good riddance" to car culture. This attitude is in line with a growing recognition that our species is best served by taking our focus off feeding our addictions to fossil fuels and instead find ways to muddle through life without the constant injection of such poisonous substances.
 === Park It ===
-Perhaps the most appropriate driving behavior in Portland involves driving away from the city and straight to the Automobile Repository in Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona.<ref name=The Automobile Repository In Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona>[http://www.pangolin4x4.com/azpartstrip/rovertrip.htm]</ref> Exchange your auto for a bike and then return to Portland. Arizonans may not harbor much empathy for sentient beings migrating in from "south of the border," but they'll welcome your hunk of metal, plastic, rubber and petroleum products with open parking lots!
+Perhaps the most appropriate driving behavior in Portland involves driving away from the city and straight to the Automobile Repository in Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona.<ref>[http://www.pangolin4x4.com/azpartstrip/rovertrip.htm The Automobile Repository In Middle Of Nowhere, Arizona]</ref> Exchange your auto for a bike and then pedal back to Portland. Arizonans may not harbor much empathy for sentient beings migrating to their state from "south of the border," but they'll welcome your hunk of metal, plastic, glass, rubber and petroleum products with open parking lots!
 == External Links ==