Old news

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This page is where stuff on the main page's news section goes when it changes from news to olds. Observe forgotten current events and primitive human societies from the dawn of time!

Wednesday | September 22, 2010

Homeless dispersal policy results.

Portland's Homeless Populations: "Keep 'em helpless, hopeless and above all, atomized."
Why not add "barefoot and pregnant" to that list? "But if people have no choice, it's my preference that they find smaller, dispersed places to camp." - Portland City Commissioner Nick Fish
Go to story: The Coldest Shoulder: Portland Rousts a Homeless Camp that Tried to be Something More
Go to camp ground: Free Camping in the National Forests: It's called dispersed camping and it's free.

Tuesday | September 21, 2010

"Luring" and "grooming" minors upheld.

Porno Perverts Pummel Oregon's DOJ
Uncle Creepy can continue engaging in "practices of 'luring' and 'grooming' that expose minors to sexually explicit materials in the hopes of lowering their inhibitions against engaging in sexual conduct."
Go to story: Powell’s, ACLU and Allies Beat Anti-Porn Law at U.S. Court of Appeals

Monday | September 20, 2010

Gabriel Park's bridge to wonderland.

Day 172: Gabriel Park
The one hundred and seventy-second thing you can do, according to "365 Things to do in Portland."
Go to story: Day 172: Gabriel Park
Go to website: Gabriel Park, SW 45th Avenue & SW Vermont Street, Portland

Sunday | September 19, 2010

Lucky ducky.

U of O Shows PSU "The 69"
Despite Ducks' willingness to "play ball," Vikings fumble.
Go to story: Ducks Rout Portland State 69-0

Saturday | September 18, 2010

Roadway slaughter comparison by city.

Portland Roadway Slaughter Lower Than Other U.S. Towns
Motorized mayhem reigns in Atlanta, Detroit and Los Angeles. Autocide rates relatively lower in Stockholm, Berlin and Tokyo. Study fails to factor in carnage caused by resource wars.
Go to story: Portland Rated Safest Traffic City in America! Woot!
Go to study: The New York City Pedestrian Safety Study & Action Plan, New York City Department of Transportation, August 2010 (PDF)

Friday | September 17, 2010

PARK(ing) Day 2010 in Portland. Two admirers of the commons enjoy a leisurely morning in the micropark in front of Powell's Books at NW Couch Street and 11th Avenue.

Today Is PARK(ing) Day!
According to PARK(ing) Day (dot)ORG, "PARK(ing) Day is an annual, worldwide event that inspires city dwellers everywhere to transform metered parking spots into temporary parks for the public good." And after you and your friends finish reading Autophobia: Love and Hate in the Automotive Age, maybe EVERY(day) will become PARK(ing) Day.
Go to stories:
PARK(ING) DAY: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17TH 2010
Celebrate PARK(ing) Day and The Intertwine! Parking spaces transform into mini-parks on September 17
September 17 is World Park(ing) Day
Tiny Parks Sprout In Parking Spots
Bumpy Ride

Thursday | September 16, 2010

White Stag welcomes you to Old Town.

Yet Another Facelift For White Stag Sign?
Sign's current owner "gives" sign to City of Portland in exchange for a $2000 monthly maintenance contract. Property developer will foot the $200,000 new makeover tab for the high-maintenance Stag.
Go to story: Portland now owner of Made in Oregon sign

Wednesday | September 15, 2010

Less Than 0.01 Percent Of Food Stamp Funds Spent At Farmers' Markets
"It is the best place to spend (your monthly food stamp allotment)," said Anna Curtin, education and outreach specialist for the Portland Farmers Market in Oregon. "It benefits (food stamp) users, it benefits the farmer, it benefits the larger community. And it is the freshest, healthiest food you can buy."
Go to story: Farmers' markets draw few food stamp users

Tuesday | September 14, 2010

"Disturbance" blamed.

"Disturbance" Blamed As Source Of Woes
Unwilling to find source of peace deep within, Old Town resident blames "external disturbances" instead.
Go to story: DISTURBANCE

Monday | September 13, 2010

Help Wanted: Professional Malingerer
From Craig's List Help Wanted Ad: "Part-time temporary positions available for healthy women between 45-55 years of age who are needed to portray 'fake' patients of Hispanic descent as part of a study assessing healthcare delivery in rural Oregon."
Go to story: Simulated Patient Position available (Portland, OR )

Sunday | September 12, 2010

Eating Out: A community of like-minded eaters, coming together.

Enjoy Life--Eat Out More Often *
Portland Eats Out is "a community of like-minded eaters, coming together." "Staff Eaters" hit the streets to build "a tribe of restaurants, cafes, coffee shops, bars and food carts to participate in the program." "Members" are encouraged "to 'Eat Out' frequently on slower nights."
Go to story: Introducing Portland Eats Out, a community-focused dining program supporting local restaurants and the Oregon Food Bank

Saturday | September 11, 2010

Member of Portland's Black Bloc (a loose coalition of infiltrators, snitches, agents provocateurs and homeless goth-vegan runaways) carries the flag in honor of National Fly The Flag Day.

Today is "national fly the flag" or "burn someone's holy book" day!
Tea Party militia groups urge Americans to "fly the flag," while dominionist religious cults threaten to burn some other religion's holy book. In Portland, independent journalists and talk show hosts will burn copies of the 9/11 Commission Report.
Go to story: GROUP TO BURN 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT AT ANNIVERSARY GATHERING

Friday | September 10, 2010

Bonghits in Bridgetown: Will Portland's Snow Bud and the Flower People make a surprise appearance!?!

Bonghits With Blumenauer In Bridgetown
National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) rolls into Portland for 39th annual convention.
Go to story: NORML National Conference In Portland, OR

Thursday | September 9, 2010

Texas Hold 'Em Fever Overwhelms House Of Pain
Uncontrollable "rowdy, lawless" behavior at illegal NE Portland gambling den leaves city toothless.
Go to story: Poker gamble fails to pay off

Wednesday | September 8, 2010

Bike thieves "liberate" Bike Free's "Buttercup."

Charity Begins At Home; Ends In Portland
After a 3500 mile ride from Maryland to Oregon, Bike Free's "Buttercup" gets ripped off in Portland. How will Paul and Adam complete their journey and carry out the Bike Free mission? Fear not! "With God’s help," they’ll "overcome this selfish deed, get bikes to the kids, and continue spreading the word about the goodness of bikes."
Go to story: Bike stolen in Portland after 3,000 mile charity ride

Tuesday | September 7, 2010

Big Timbers Run Little Beavers Outta P-Town
Portland Beavers, the Rose City's minor league baseball team and Portland institution since 1903, is pushed out of PGE Park (formerly Multnomah Stadium) by Portland's new major league soccer team, Portland Timbers.
Go to story: Triple-A Beavers say goodbye to Portland

Monday | September 6, 2010

Oxbow Regional Park: A wonderful place to raise your homeless family.

Oxbow Regional Park: A Wonderful Place To Raise Your Homeless Family
Did you lose your job quite a while back? Your unemployment insurance finally sputtered out? A bailed-out bank foreclosed your family out of your home, and you're sick of squabbling with other homeless folks on Portland's mean streets? Take heart! Oxbow Regional Park's campground is open year 'round, it's not far from Portland, and Stag Beetle Power! says it's a wonderful place to bring the kids!
Go to story: Oxbow Regional Park

Sunday | September 5, 2010

Sun Devils Scuttle Portland's Vikings
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the Devils' kitchen.
Go to story: Arizona State Handles Vikings, 54-9

Saturday | September 4, 2010

From depraved to depaved: volunteers remove asphalt from church parking lot to create community garden.

Tearin' Up The Parking Lot
City Commissioner Nick Fish helps "Depave" a SW Portland church's parking lot, transforming it from asphalt-covered dead zone to community garden.
Go to story: Depave photos

Friday | September 3, 2010

Locker Room Eviction

Locker Room Pragmatism
City assures public it's providing Portland's homeless folks with access to storage lockers for "practical--not just humanitarian--reasons." Will "creeping compassionism" ultimately undermine self-righteous ruthlessness and free-market fanaticism? Experts fret over the "inevitable unwinding" of multiple decades of carefully contrived pro-corporate cultural conditioning.
Go to story: Homeless get storage lockers in Portland

Thursday | September 2, 2010

Multnomah County "Taps Out" Disposable Plastic Water Bottles
Commissioner asks employees to "pledge" oaths of loyalty.
Go to story: Multnomah County "Takes Back the Tap!"

Wednesday | September 1, 2010

Portland Beavers! (From the sketchpad of SubwayFox.net.)

Portland Dealt A Bad Hand
Aces come down hard on the Beavers.
Go to story: Reno Aces defeat Portland Beavers

Tuesday | August 31, 2010

Food Cart Fight
Will Bing's Food Cart Finder best Google Maps' Food Carts Portland!?! The battle rages as iPhone and Android apps skulk nearby.
Go to story: Battle of the Portland Food Cart Apps

Monday | August 30, 2010

Former Transportation Office Spokeswoman Awarded DUII
Mary Volm falls off motor scooter while allegedly intoxicated. Mid-life transportation crisis for would-be Portland City Councilperson?
Go to story: Former Portland candidate faces Ore. DUII charge

Sunday | August 29, 2010

The "go by streetcar" sign at NW Lovejoy and 10th in Portland.

A Streetcar Fuels Desire
Other towns covet Portland's street car success.
Go to story: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-08-30-streetcars30_ST_N.htm

Saturday | August 28, 2010

Electric car cattle prod.

Electric Car Cattle Prod
Oregon's governor pushes an electric car "future" while TriMet eviscerates public transit. Will strip mined coal compete with oil wars as the roadway slaughter continues?
Go to story: Road to electric cars not so easy

Friday | August 27, 2010

Horse teams and hand tools--that's how streets were built a hundred years ago.

Ninety-Seven Year-Old "Green Jobs" Initiative
These employed folks (and their horses too!) from nearly a century ago already had "green jobs." Then cars came along and ruined everything.
Go to story: N Jonesmore Street, 1913

Thursday | August 26, 2010

Burnt Coal Fires Up Young Artists
Kids tell Oregon’s Boardman Coal Plant to walk the plank.
Go to story: In Portland, Students and the Community “Paint Past Coal”

Wednesday | August 25, 2010

Doggy Style: Amtrak's choice of "fly ride" for their doggy detectives shows the rail transport operator has the inner strength to purposefully derail its own train-centric bias.

Canine Cops To Sniff Rails From Portland To Seattle
Amtrak's Vernae Graham claims doggy detectives to thrust noses into "all sorts of illegal substances."
Go to story: Amtrak Goes to the Dogs

Tuesday | August 24, 2010

Portland Casinos Await Voter Approval
Measure 75's passage will bring gambling halls to Multnomah County dog tracks. Coming next: dens of iniquity and houses of ill repute.
Go to story: Ore. casino backers drop lawsuit, voters to decide

Monday | August 23, 2010

Pakistan Flood Relief: Be The Change
As Pakistan's "epic floods" continue, Portland's Mercy Corps dives in.
Go to story: Project: Pakistan Flooding - Mercy Corps is providing clean water, staple foods and clean-up tools to families affected by massive flooding in Pakistan, which has killed at least 1,600 people and affected 20 million people.

Sunday | August 22, 2010

Portland's fake Jimi Hendrix poses with Vancouver B.C.'s actual blonde.

Vancouver B.C. Blonde Does Her Part To Help "Keep Portland Weird"
Beer, Jimmy Hendrix and a "sunny and stinking hot" Saturday Market are all part of her plan.
Go to story: Perfectly Portland

Saturday | August 21, 2010

Portland's Mayor Takes Aim At Loose Cannons
Mayor Sam Adams asks openly female city attorney to come up with new strategies for reducing gun violence in city. Local firearm fanatic Kevin Starrett derides proposal as "a desperate move by a disgraced mayor."
Go to story: Portland Mayor Proposes Gun Restrictions After Rash Of Shootings

Friday | August 20, 2010

Get Folked Up This Weekend!
Over twenty venues co-host Portland's first annual Folk Festival.
Go to story: Portland Folk Festival: For the family

Thursday | August 19, 2010

A TV News Channel To Oblivion
Local corporate media propaganda claims bicycling bad for business. Portland's business community claims otherwise.
Go to story: Bikes bad for business? Not in Portland

Wednesday | August 18, 2010

Salem Witch Trial Hangings

"Mob Mentality" Breeds "Irrational Hatred" In Portland, Oregon
Facebook comments threatening "fat, sick, twisted bitches" with "a tall tree and a short rope" invoke memories of "Salem Witch Trials," when "innocent women were condemned" for supposedly making a "covenant with the devil." Exposes Portland's "ugly side."
Go to story: Why a Mob Mentality, an Irrational Hatred for DeDe Spicher and Terri Horman?

Tuesday | August 17, 2010

Portland-Area Home Sales Plummet 30%
"...it feels like the bottom just fell out..."
Go to story: Portland-area closed sales of homes fall 30% in July

Monday | August 16, 2010

Let's Widen The Expressway To Hell!
Responses to call for a rational, long-term transportation plan:

  • Step hard on the gas pedal.
  • Rack up more frequent flyer miles.
  • Drill baby drill!

Go to story: Get a transportation plan, Oregon

Sunday | August 15, 2010

Portland's "Charms" Backfire
City ends up looking "a lot like Fayetteville."
Go to story: Portland, Oregon Charms CITY A LOT LIKE FAYETTEVILLE

Saturday | August 14, 2010

Lackluster Local Lucre Licks Lone Lesbian Lounge
The Egyptian Club, Portland's only lesbian bar, to close doors for good October 9th.
Go to story: Portland Oregon's Lone Lesbian Bar Closing for Good

Friday | August 13, 2010

As Friday The 13th Dawns, Gloom Lurks In Shadows
Portland forecast: sunny and hot. "Much warmer than yesterday."
Go to story: 5-Day Forecast for ZIP Code 97209

Thursday | August 12, 2010

Electric Vehicle Charging Stations Popping Up In Portland
Pentagon covetously sets sights on faraway lands selfishly hoarding large lithium-ion reserves. Possible invasion targets seen.
Go to story: Game Changer: First public quick-charge station for EVs installed in Portland

Wednesday | August 11, 2010

Heartless County Bureaucrats Threaten Entrepreneurial Tot With Hefty Fine
Public outcry assures that seven year-old lemonade impresario gets to take her mom to Disneyland anyway.
Go to story: Seven year old entrepreneur raises cash for Disneyland

Tuesday | August 10, 2010

A Bridge Too Wide
Ten lane span threatens to drive even more highly-dangerous motor vehicles into city. No end in sight to roadway slaughter, fossil fuel depletion, resource war proliferation.
Go to story: Oregon, Washington Leaders Agree On Key I-5 Bridge Details

Tuesday | May 25, 2010

Portland's architectural landmark, United States Custom House, officially goes on the auction block today. Previous efforts to turn the building into a 82-room boutique hotel or house Portland's International School fell through. Ideas for turning the building into a home for a Public Market, Sustainability Center or a Rose City Campus for the University of Oregon went nowhere. A couple of months ago, the Oregonian's Anna Griffin thoughtfully observed that someone with "with a vision" should turn their vision for what should happen with this Portland treasure into reality. Here's a chance to step up and take that challenge. What is your vision for the U.S. Custom House? Don't be shy; describe your vision here.

Tuesday | March 23, 2010

Portland's message to upscale consumerism: "Take a hike!" Portland, Oregon Saks Fifth Avenue to Close. MarketWatch

Saturday | March 13, 2010

Portland Tribune 25 jobs @ semi conductor business in Gresham

Saturday | February 6, 2010

KATU Health insurance now open to all Ore. kids

Saturday | January 2, 2010

Oregon Live Portland's 2009 homicides drop to lowest level in almost 40 years

Wednesday | December 23, 2009

Portland Tribune Shuttered Cascade Grain plant sold at auction

Monday | December 21, 2009

Portland Tribune Zidell plans $20 million waterfront cleanup project

Friday | December 18, 2009

Economist says Portland's economic strategy isn't working. Portland Tribune Gold Coin

Sunday | November 22, 2009

KGW 3 million gallons of sewage into willamette due to power outage in oregon city

Friday | November 6, 2009

Vista Ridge tunnel partly closed tonight for high-pressure washing

Wednesday | November 4, 2009

Oregon Live Oregon Convention Center opts for rooftop solar

Thursday | October 1, 2009

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Go to stories:

Econvergence: NW Regional Conference
Portland, Oregon: EcoNvergence October 2-4
ecoNvergence Schedule